It’s August and you’re getting ready to, or already have, dropped your kid off at college. This is the moment you’ve dedicated the last 18 years of your life getting to, and now that you’re here, you’re feeling … all the feels. 

This is one of those big life transitions, and like all transition, it creates the opportunity to redefine normal. Sometimes that comes with excitement and the anticipation of possibility. Other times it comes with a lot of discomfort. Honestly, more often than not, it’s not an either or. It’s both.

When something feels uncomfortable, most of us will rush to find a solution. Something – anything – to make it feel more familiar. Ahhh – but that’s the catch. How do you make something feel familiar when you haven’t been there before?

The first thing I’m going to say – be gentle with your heart. Allow yourself time, space and stillness to really notice what you’re feeling before you rush to find a quick resolution. A new normal.

I’m going to remind you that there’s no “right” way to walk through the avalanche of emotion.

You have permission to feel all of it.

Please don’t minimize the scope of what you’re feeling, or allow someone to tell you to “snap out of it” or just over it.

It’s ok not to rush yourself through this. 

You’re likely not going to feel well supported, even by well-meaning and caring people in your life. We’re expected to cope.

Here are some “practical” suggestions that you might find helpful:

Pause. Create a space in your life to notice what you are feeling.

If you’re someone who likes to see things on paper to help you process, make a list. No editing. Just brain dump.

Think back to a time when you were experiencing a different transition in your life. Maybe it was a new job. Maybe you moved to a new city. Maybe it was even the moment you started on this motherhood journey! 

What tools did you use to walk through that transition? 

What are your go-to’s for comfort? If it helped before, try it again.

Aside from practical suggestions, here’s what I really want to say. Sometimes the thing you REALLY need most is someone else’s time, ear to listen and a hug. If the people in your life aren’t responding in a way that’s helping (hopefully they’re doing their very best to be supportive, but if what you’re feeling isn’t part of their life experience, they may not seem helpful), reach beyond them.

Find an ear. A community of moms who are walking through the same transition. A doula who is always here to support. Because you know what? This is you. Your heart. Your well-being. Tend to it. 

xx Jean

P.S. You’ll find information about one of the ways I can support you here. And always know that if that doesn’t feel like something that would be helpful, we can create what you do need. It’s as simple as sending an email and we’ll get the conversation going.