Empty Nest (noun): Your chance to finally focus on you
It’s a quiet Sunday morning and I’m in Kansas City – not Seattle – sitting next to my now grown daughter while I’m writing this post. She’s the one and only kid in our life and has been out of our house for 14 years. It feels like yesterday when we dropped her off at her dorm room, and it still tugs at my heartstrings when I think about how fast the years flew by.
Throughout our lives as women, we’ve been instilled with a belief system about what our life will become. Daughter – student – partner – mom – and then … most of us haven’t thought about what’s next. Most likely because we don’t want to. The “empty nest” time in our lives isn’t something we’re looking forward to. Whether it was intentionally programmed into our consciousness by parents & influential people in our lives – or whether it was more media/culturally based … we heard it. It set us up to believe it’s going to be … sad.
Over the years we’ve heard a lot about preparing for retirement. But do you remember ANYONE ever suggesting that you also prepare for the time when your kids leave home? I’m guessing not because there are few conversations about how to prepare for that experience. Why is that?
Full disclosure here my friends – Empty Nest is a term I’m not fond of. It implies sadness, emptiness, despair. Those are generally not thought of as welcome emotions. But I haven’t found it to be that way – sad, empty, full of despair. I HAVE found it to be the time when I get to finally focus on me.
These past 14 years have been filled with amazing adventures and new experiences for me. A new business. You Have To Just Start was born in Nepal. Yes, really! Nepal! And that was just one trip of many. Along the way I discovered a new me emerging and guess what – I liked her! Although I’m always happy to share my stories and have done a lot of that here in this blog, today I’m focusing on you and the story that’s about to unfold for you. The one that YOU get to write!
Your job for the last 18 years has been to focus on the kid(s) you’ve been raising with the goal of finally reaching this point. Launching them out of the nest. This summer has likely been a blur of bittersweetness. Last vacations together (of course there will be more with them, but it will be different). Shopping for college dorm rooms or first apartments. During ALL of it, you known in the back of your mind that it means that you’re soon going to be experiencing that moment when you leave them. And right now, even thinking about what that’s going to feel like is … too much. And when you get back home from their drop-off, yes, you’re going to notice a BIG change. Quiet. Stillness. Emptiness. It will be an adjustment. And you’ll need some time to feel every part of it. Some people in your life will tell you to snap out of it. Or stay busy. Or that what you’re feeling isn’t valid. I’m not going to tell you that. Every part of what your heart is feeling right now is valid. Take time to notice it. You might want to do some or all of it alone, you might want support, or you might want both.
All those feelings don’t necessarily mean that you’re going to feel despair – and that’s one of the reasons why I’ve never been able to wrap my head & heart around “empty nest”. Yes our daughter’s room is empty (except we’ve repurposed it!) Our house is not. Our life is not. I’ve chosen to redefine my script and think of this time in my life, and your life, as LAUNCH TIME.. You’ve just launched your kid – now it’s time to launch YOU.
You’re finally going to have time for new beginnings. Are you ready?
That’s what I’m all about. Helping you get ready. I’m here to walk beside you and offer the support I wish I’d had when our daughter was leaving home. I’m here to help you prepare your heart and then look beyond to this empty nest time as one of adventure and possibility in YOUR life.
Launch Week for Moms is a FREE week of support, tips and tools, coming again August 20-24. Want to be part of it? You can find out more and sign up here!
Cheering you on always!
xx Jean
