Savor – verb: enjoy it completely
It’s such a great word for this time right now in your life! So much excitement and celebration for the kid you’re launching. It’s the beginning of a new chapter for them – and YOU!
I wish I had had someone sharing some of this wisdom with me when my daughter graduated from high school. Someone walking beside me, sharing things I could proactively start thinking about. Some helpful suggestions, tips and tools.
It’s a huge change of direction and pace when you kid(s) leave. The first most noticeable thing? Stillness. Perhaps moments of sadness because you’re aware of the end of a chapter in your life. When all the graduation festivities are finally over, that stillness might create space, and a desire for reflection. It can be used productively. Your job title will remain MOM, but the job duties are going to change. What is that going to look like for you?
Many of you really do want to take some time and truly savor the moments. Be present. You’re not ready for immediate action or a total change of direction when your kiddo leaves. You might want to keep as much sameness in your life and daily routine as possible for a while, because it’s comforting. If that’s what feels right, do it! In some ways I admire people who are decision and act quickly. But … I’m a ponderer. You too? I like the idea of savoring.
Why am I bringing this up? Because transition is bumpy. Unless you’ve already created your awesome what’s next plan and can’t wait to get started, you’re going to feel these bumps. You might notice a need to proceed with a little gentleness. Spaciousness. A desire to spend some time in the moment and savoring all the feels. Seeing your graduating kiddo excited about their life adventures is such a celebratory moment. Be present. Record the memories. Take a LOT of photos!
How best to do that? Maybe you already have your own system of recording life events. If you do, great! Maybe you have a regular journal practice. Keep going! As you’re doing this documenting, you might notice that your focus starts to shift from something you’re doing for them to something you’re doing for yourself.
I didn’t have any tools in place in my life and somewhere along the way, I heard about The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s actually a workbook with exercises, but the most valuable exercise for me was the suggestion of starting “morning pages”. It was a good fit for me because it wasn’t a structured format or class, and I didn’t need anything special to write in. I used inexpensive composition books – lots of them – because much to my surprise, once I started, I had a lot to say.
What started to unfold was a bigger picture that went beyond the now and opened doors to what I wanted for my future. I think it started out for me as just documenting, like a log, writing down my daily activities, establishing the routine. Then I started adding comments. I wrote down questions. Answers. I started to notice the places where I felt like I had gaps in my life. You’ll find your way with this if you keep at the practice. You can make lists of activities/interests that you’ve thought about pursuing in the past but put on hold … because …you were busy being a mom.
Clarity starts to emerge. You see a possible path of action, which is the beginning of creating change. In short, it’s a place to start. And that’s what this time is about. Finding your place to start!
I’ll be back next week to continue the conversation.
Your biggest fan!
Jean
