This is your story. Your path. Your journey. You are the author, the creator. What an incredible opportunity!
What does that mean, exactly? It means you are here. At this place in your life, at this moment. Doing what we’ve all done at various points in our lives – trying to figure out what’s next. Somehow it seemed a lot easier when your past job descriptions (such as being a mom) were so clearly defined. And confusing because that doesn’t seem to be the case now, and that’s what is causing this current unsettled feeling. Get ready for some adventure you guys! The discovery phase is an exciting place to be.
Many of us experience a normal period of transition and self-reflection between the ages of 40 and 60, which is not to say that this doesn’t happen at other points in our lives as well. It does. All the time. We ALL go through personal issues and transitions. At times of transition, it’s common to question who we are in this world, what our purpose is, and how our life has looked so far.
So now what?? It’s helpful to remember that where you are is not who you are. Take a good long look at yourself. Do some assessing. What is currently working well in your life and what feels like it’s no longer a comfortable fit?
On last week’s blog post I talked about Steps for a Reset. The first step was envision. It sounds so simple, but for many of us, it’s really not. Oh if we only knew what we wanted to change about our lives! Defining your vision can take a while and rushing the process likely won’t provide you with the clarity that you’re seeking. Directed questions (see below) can be helpful in sifting through the jumble of thoughts that are likely bouncing around in your head. It’s not unlike getting to college and before you even have time to settle into your new life there, everyone is asking what you’re going to major in. How many people do you know who were crystal clear at the age of 18 about what they want to do for the rest of their lives? Sometimes the answers aren’t clear. In college, or now. There are very few people who wake up one morning and know where a change of direction is going to take them. Explore!
Helpful questions to ask:
What do you really care about in your life?
What matters most to you in your life?
Where does your mind wander to in “down” time?
What do you find yourself dreaming about doing when “someday” comes?
How do you like spending free time?
And in contrast, what do you REALLY not like doing?
Finding the answers to those questions is a good place to begin. If answers are not coming easily, starting with what you don’t want can be helpful as well. It may sound silly, but it’s hard to begin the exciting journey of where you want to go if you don’t know where you’re starting from. Soul searching can be challenging, especially if you’re being really honest about it. Knowing this is the beginning step to finding a new path can make you feel more enthusiastic about the process!
The best advice I can offer is get comfortable with the process. Give it a little time. Part of the discovery phase is exploring options. If you feel like answers are not presenting themselves, it can help to literally just pick a direction and start down the path. There is no right answer. Try making a list of 3 options that you’re interested in pursuing. Start! If it becomes clear that this isn’t giving you what you’re seeking, you can turn around! Pick a new direction. The adventure begins!
Life is about being in motion. We do not learn by standing still. I’ll be right here, waiting to hear about your discoveries!
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